Brother Brisken's Book of Ailments & Remedies was a massive tome written by Brother Brisken of Loamhedge Abbey, who began writing it four seasons before the beginning of the Brocktree Era and finished it during the Spring of Lord Bloodag. It contained a concise list of all diseases and bodily ailments known at the time, and the cures for the majority of them. While some of the remedies were somewhat backward, a few were known to work quite well, and made the book an item even to the time of Matthias the Warrior.
"I have compiled this book as well as one in my position could possibly do, and I must say that I'm quite pleased with the outcome. Inside these pages, you the reader may find all sores, wounds, diseases, afflictions of the soul, and other diverse and equally horrendous sicknesses that have made themselves known to me and the Abbeymice of Loamhedge Abbey; not to exclude my dear friend Abbot Elder, who has aided considerably in the writing of this book. Without the help of my friends here at Loamhedge, you would not be reading this. It is my chiefest hope that this compilation will save many lives in the future, as I am confident that the knowledge within already has, and is, to this day." --- Brother Brisken of Loamhedge Abbey
Part the First: Common Diseases and their Cures
"Collect several Icetor Flowers and crush with mortar and with pestle. Administer to the patient for a full recovery."
"Prepare the following mixture for ingestion by the sufferer:
- Six leaves of Dandelion, boiled
- Four Daggerthorns, freshly picked
- Two Stinging Nettles, boiled
"Boil ingredients into a broth. Administer to the patient."
---> Enter an ailment here, with the respective treatment for it.
Part the Second: Common Injuries and their Treatment
"If a beast has been stung by an adder, quickly lay the afflicted limb in such a position as to let the blood flow away from the heart. Next, prepare the following poultice for the wound:
- Four or five rowan berries, crushed
- One fresh pine cone, still green for best results
- One raspberry leaf, crushed
"Heat the above ingredients and stir until they form a thick paste, then apply the poultice to the injury and bind it tightly. Let sit until the healing process sets in, changing regularly to prevent infection."
Blow of the Sword
"To disinfect a sword wound, apply freshly-boiled damson wine to the area. Bind about with cloth and leave the injury to heal independently. Administer crushed arnica flowers for pain relief if necessary."
---> Enter an injury here, with the respective treatment for it.
Part the Third: Common Afflictions of the Soul
"There are many methods with which the ailment of madness is treated, depending upon the type:
- If the patient shows signs of demonic influences, select one long coopering nail and pound it into the back of the skull with a large bung mallet. The resulting exit hole will allow for the Devils to abandon his brain. Take heed to let nobeast into the room in which he lies when the procedure is underway, for they also may be infected with the Devils that escape from the brain of the afflicted one, and the entire process will have to be repeated on the newly-possessed individual.
- If the patient is destructive or emotional, use the same nail, but in the frontal lobe of the brain to reduce the Devils' activity in that area. He will cease attacking or engaging in disruptive behavior immediately and lie still and completely emotionless.
- If the patient has lapses into imagination and behaves as though he is a wild beast, cut off his left ear for instant healing.
"For other cures of fear, which is the least of madnesses, see the next chapter."
Fear of Darkness
"For the fear of the dark, bind the sufferer and lock him in a chest made of pine wood, in total darkness. Let the patient rest in the box from sundown to sunup. If the fear is not healed by this first process, repeat until the sufferer is fearless. May require several repetitions."
Fear of Fire
"Light an incense candle of Lavender and leave the afflicted in a locked room with it from the noontide until evening for best results."
Fear of Spiders
"Crush six or nine large spiders into a light paste; pour and mix into a bowl of greensap milk. Administer to the patient."
Other Mental Illnesses
---> Enter a "mental illness" here, with the respective treatment for it.